It would be ballsy to open a restaurant in the shadow of a closed Target. Targets don’t exactly inhabit subtle buildings, so to have a giant reaper romp as your backdrop, you’ve gotta really play up the positivity, you know?

When we heard that there was a BBQ joint going into a funky building at 7^th Avenue and Camelback, we first thought: Hooray! And then we thought: But it’s in front of a giant closed Target at a depressing intersection… oh man. Like sage gets rid of bad spirits, these guys would need to burn the fires of hickory, mesquite, and apple wood like crazy to bring some welcoming vibe into that old building and the parking lot that surrounds it. So hickory smoke they did, but is it working?

The place is called Circle H Barbecue, and it’s owned by the folks who did Copper Star Coffee down the block. Copper Star is full of personality – an old gas station turned coffee shop. It feels like the kind of place you’d find in any small town across America. Circle H, though, is the opposite – lacking in personality, and the kind of place you’d find, well, on the corner of 7^th Ave. and Camelback in front of a dark strip mall.

On our last visit, no music was playing. The bathrooms wreaked of a sulfur leak. WREAKED! And the smell of BBQ was masked by said bathroom odor leaking out into the dining room. Still, we had done a take-out order from Circle H right after they opened, and we were impressed by the food – so we wanted to sit down and take the menu for a proper test drive.

Our takeout order was simple: It called The Big One ($31) and it comes with a hot link, half rack of ribs, a chicken breast, and half pound of brisket, with two sides—we chose fries and candied pork baked beans. We also subbed pulled pork for the hot link. From this order, the chicken was deliciously smoky and juicy, the brisket was chopped (usually the sign of a pitmaster unhappy with the brisket turnout) but still mouthwateringly good, solid ribs with a nice smoke ring and just enough tug off the bone, and juicy pulled pork with a perfect amount of salt. The fries were freshly cut and perfectly fried – not too greasy. The candied pork baked beans were insane – musta been a billion calories but they were totally worth it.

This meal was enough to feed three people, and considering how good it all was only two weeks after opening, it made us plan the big visit.

That’s where things didn’t live up to visit number one … Or should we say, that’s where things took a turn for the salty. Here was our order:

Deviled Eggs (six for $4)
Cold Cheese Dip with tortilla chips ($6)
The Del Rey Burger (Schreiner’s Andouille sausage, cheddar, brown mustard, on a half-pound patty, $10)
The Big One (see above)
Green Chilies and Pork Chili ($5)
Sides: Candied Baked Beans, Hand-Cut Fries, 3 Cheese Mac & Cheese, and Grilled Veggies

The deviled eggs had a good smokey flavor but someone must have spilled the Morton’s over them because they were practically crusted with salt. The cold cheese dip would have been good had we been someone else, someone really into cold cheese dip. Maybe it’s just not our thing. We asked our server to heat it up and see what happens, but then it became an oil fest. (It covered up the salt nicely!) The chips were good though. The Del Rey Burger was crazy – a heart attack on a plate. The sausage had good flavor, the burger tasted like Wendy’s (not necessarily a bad thing, just an observation), and it comes on a pretzel bun … which normally would be a good thing, but the salt from the sausage mixed with the salt from the burger seasoning and the salt on the bun made this dish an exercise in sodium chloride. Excuse me, miss … Can I have some more water?

The Big One was noticeably of lower quality than our first visit. The brisket, although sliced now, was heavily sodium chlorided; the pork was strangely under-sodium-chlorided and had less flavor than visit number one; the chicken’s skin was totally over-charred, and inside, the meat bordered on dry; and the ribs were almost all smoke ring—meaning the meat was glisteningly pink. It looked raw but it wasn’t. Here’s how we know we weren’t crazy about them—nobody went back for a second rib. That’s just not like us.

The mac & cheese, in our opinion, could benefit from something a little sharper, and the veggies must have been next to eggs, because they were covered in salt. Sheesh, do these guys have stock in a salt mine or somethin’? Our pork chili was more like a soup—total liquid with very little pay dirt at the bottom of the bowl.

After looking down at our barely eaten meal, we looked up to the old-timey pictures on the walls. They depict people in sometimes desolate landscapes, ones not unlike the area around Circle H. This place just has no pizazz. No personality. No vision. We’re pulling for them, because good BBQ could be a catalyst for change in that vicinity. Thankfully, everything in meal number two was good enough to try again down the road – it’s all moments away from becoming really good. Apparently, though, the challenge for them isn’t making good ‘que, it’s repeating the process every day. That, and fixing that rancid odor in the bathroom.

730 W. Camelback Rd.
Phoenix, AZ
602-277-0896
www.circlehbarbecue.com

If you’re like us, then you: 1) obsess over where to go for lunch, 2) can’t wait for EATERAZ emails, 3) only watch the Superbowl for the commercials.

Because of the latter, it’s kinda tough to cook during the game. Guaranteed, the steaks will need flipping during whatever is planned here. And you probably want to find out what it is.

So sit back, relax, and wait for the next installment of the Geico surfer while gorging yourself on mouthwatering BBQ from Bobby Q Great Steaks & Real BBQ.

Their Superbowl Sunday Football Feast for Four comes with a half pound of 18-hour smoked beef-brisket, half pound of seasoned pulled pork, half slab of pecan smoked St. Louis ribs, half a juicy BBQ chicken straight off the rotisserie, four cornbreads and two sides for only $28!

There’s still time to order, so give them a call at 602-995-5982. Pickup at Bobby Q, 8501 N. 27th Ave. in Phoenix.

In about a month, EATERAZ will venture out west for a new kind of BBQ Festival (well, for us). It won’t involve a parking scuffle with Nordstrom, unwatered grass, or neighbors complaining that there’s actually people outside their doors … we’re producing an event it seems the City of Surprise actually wants and covets, and one that’s easy to navigate for patrons. Taking place on the Surprise Recreation Complex, right outside the stadium where the Kansas City Royals and the Texas Rangers play, and right next door to thousands of parking spaces we will have access to, the March 3rd Surprise BBQ Festival is picking up steam.

The event attracted the attention of the Arizona Pork Council – so much so that they signed on as a Platinum Level Sponsor! What’s that mean, this event is going to have tons of ribs and smoked pork butt, for one. But also that the Pork Council will be out there reminding you that pigs are the most versatile things to eat in the world. Pork chops, bacon, pulled pork, pork ribs, pork loin … the list goes on.

They’ll also be out there reminding you that they exist to also make sure pork comes from farms that treat their pigs with humanity before they meat the reaper. We’d like to publicly thank the Arizona Pork Council for their support, and in honor of this sponsorship, will be doing up a nice bone-in pork chop from AJ’s tonight, a little salt and pepper, nothing too fancy, because pork stands on its own.

Just as New Year’s Eve is a night out for amateurs, Valentine’s Day is a night out for amateur couples. Forced romance from people dining out in restaurants that are smugly serving chipper couples – do something original, would ya?

Here’s an idea we just heard about from the Four Seasons Scottsdale. The Saturday before Valentine’s Day, February 11th, they’re holding “Feast for the Senses,” a series of cooking demonstrations tailored for the hearty holiday. Some couples will make this their big night out, likely booking a room around the class, while individuals will likely take the class so they have a “let’s stay in” game plan come February 14th.

So what’s up with the senses? Executive Chef Mel Mecinas and Executive Sous Chef Jesse Hansen will blindfold participants to “smell” certain ingredients as they get settled, and work to isolate components in the menu to understand why each ingredient is important. They will “hear” the champagne popping for a welcome cocktail, “touch” warm oshibori towels to clean their hands, “see” ingredients when the blindfold is removed …  And then, of course, there’s “taste,” the obvious one.

You’ll learn to cook the entire menu:

Red Beet Carpaccio
Butter Poached Lobster/Asparagus/ Black Mesa Goat Cheese/Passion Fruit Vinaigrette
Cocoa Chili Espresso Rubbed Rib Eye
Marsala Mushroom Demi/ Sweet Crab Whipped Potatoes/ Brown Sugar carrots
Valrhona Soft Center Chocolate Cake
Candied Hibiscus flowers/ Strawberry Sorbet

Since there are certain parts of this meal that are not easily found in your local Safeway, all guests will leave with a goodie bag, including hibiscus flowers, foil cake cups to cook cake in, a jar of vanilla or blood orange Queen Creek Olive Oil, a bag of chili cocoa espresso rub, and red wine Demi

“Feast for the Senses” runs $55 per person/$100 per couple. It starts at 11am and reservations are required at 480-513-5085.

On Saturday, February 11, one of the most heavy hittingest wine events in the Valley will take place and you might want to consider a ticket if you’re the kind of person that wants to add some blockbusters to your wine collection.

It’s called the First Press Wine Auction, and this event is not only a Who’s Who of society and corporate donors, it’s a Who’s Who of badass wines. The silent and live auction helps fund the Youth Media Center for KJZZ/KBAQ/Friends of Public Radio. The ticket might sound steep at $250, but signed on to play a big part in the event: Frank Family Vineyards, Robert Craig, Jarvis, David Girard, Chappellet, and Mondavi wines.

The event takes place at 6pm at the Westin Kierland Resort & Spa. You’ll be seated at a round for 10, with a bonafide vitner at your table. Throughout the five-course dinner, Peter Segal from Wait Wait…Don’t Tell Me! will entertain the crowd. Fight off the bidding vultures with your paddle to score your faves, then hit the dance floor to Alice Tatum and the Alice Tatum Band.

Pick up tickets online at http://firstpressarizona.com/firstpress or call 480-774-VINO.

At some point you’ve gotta just admit some things to yourself. Today, one of those things is that the people passing through Scottsdale and Shea don’t want their food to be overly good (meaning expensive) and they don’t want their food overly bad (meaning, well, bad). For this reason, a place like Claim Jumper thrived for years in a huge space on the northwest corner. But now that Claim Jumper’s gone due to bankruptcy, its replacement may just nail the niche that sorta neighborhood thrives on—perfectly mediocre food at a perfectly average price in a perfectly booth-filled dining room.

Jasmine Tokyo Buffet has kept virtually every element of Claim Jumpers, from the river rock walls to the actual booths to the old box TV’s in the bar, but on one side of the restaurant, a giant buffet was plopped down. We don’t imagine this place resembles Tokyo in any way, shape, or form, but it does resemble the kind of restaurant that will probably do well here.

The buffet is a cornucopia of “Asian delights,” as one Yelper put it. From sushi rolls and sashimi to cooked dishes, a meat station, dessert bar, salad bar, apps, and build your own situation. Sure there was one piece of yellowtail sashimi that received a single bite before being concealed in a napkin; sure there were a couple pieces of breaded chicken that wouldn’t cut; sure the beef with broccoli was basically beef in soy sauce; but overall, all things considered, the meal was totally edible.

There’s a full bar, and the place works like a typical buffet. Sit and order drinks, then get right to it. Some of our favorite items: ribs, shrimp cakes, pork gyoza, and strangely, the crab Rangoon. All of these items were above par for a buffet situation, whereas everything else we tried was simply on par. Make sure while you’re circling that you tell the staff to keep refreshing the chafing the dishes. There’s nothing we are more scared of than congealed pork (unless of course it’s congealed fish). As you can see from the dishes above, we tried the calamari (sweet and spicy, not too tough), all the chicken dishes, some breaded shrimp, and some other stuff that should probably just be labeled “some other stuff.”

We stopped in for lunch, where the options are noticeably paired down, but so is the price. We paid about $12 per person; for dinner that fee jumps up only $8 and you get access to a prime rib station, oyster bar, crab legs, and more “Asian delights.” Will we be back? Probably not. But do we recommend you give it a try just to say you gave it a try? Sure. No one got sick. No one felt price gouged. And no one hated their meal from top to bottom. What more can you ask for at Scottsdale and Shea?

Jasmine Tokyo Buffet
7000 E. Shea Blvd.
Scottsdale, AZ
480-991-0655
www.jasminetokyo.com

Quick, call your therapist … not to schedule an emergency appointment, but to cancel the next few. Surely your overall life neuroses comes in part from dining out. You always seem to get the seat in the draft, under the poorly placed spotlight, or at the table that wobbles. Dining out is full of stress. and it’s enough to drive someone to seek professional help.

Lighting and draft issues are a plague of the human kind, but the wobbly table thing – well, that’s something easy band-aided with a few sugar packets.

But Eric Flatt, owner of Tonto Ba & Grill up in Cave Creek, was tired of seeing his customers fiddle with the wobble. “At Tonto we have Saltillo tile on our patios, which translates to ‘Nothing Level,’” he says. “The problem is that the table moves every time someone lifts their arms up. Usually, the patron fixes it with a sugar packet, but that’s just not right.”

So for a while, Flatt found a solution to the wobble in black rubber wedges called “Shuv-it’s,” but they were always getting lost, hosed off and on to the golf course, swept up, and then thrown away. Even the birds would steal ‘em. (And by birds we don’t mean customers, but yes, Flatt confirms that customers would steal them for their own wobbly tables at home … savages.)

As Flatt was having new tables made for the patio (Have you noticed all the 75-degree days lately?), he found a solution in a new table footing called the “SuperLevel”–a foot with an internal spring built into it. Although Flatt had to have all of the new tables custom made with these pieces, the problem is now solved and Tonto’s patio is one of the most neuroses-free in town.

No, tables aren’t bouncing up and down like Dre’s ’57 Bel Air, the SuperLevel Automatic Self-Adjusting Glide quietly creates a level table-top with an ingenious spring-and-ramp mechanism down below. Now, you can enjoy a view like the one you see below without having to look down, wondering which leg is craving some sugar.

And since Flatt just saved you a trip to the therapist, order a bottle of wine, enjoy the view, and set your elbows on the table. Now that’s livin’.

Tonto Bar & Grill
5736 E. Rancho Manana Blvd.
Cave Creek, AZ
480-488-0698
www.tontobarandgrill.com

Thought we had just walked into a West Hollywood hotspot. Most people in the dining room had their sunglasses on, and anyone who didn’t seemed to be looking away when they talked. As it turned out, they weren’t acting complacent, they were just protecting their retinas.

If you’re having breakfast at The Breakfast Club in downtown Scottsdale, we advise having your meal after 9am, when the sun gets above the overhang and passes the point of directly blaring into the place. We asked our server to close the shades, but it turns out there are no shades … yet. Ironic, right? A breakfast joint that’s actually uncomfortable because it’s so bright. Even the servers were blocking rays with their hands when addressing customers.

When ours enacted the handheld sun-block to us yesterday, we were asking about a possible WiFi password, but it turns out there is no WiFi. Listen, we hate to demand things of independent businesses, but your place is filled with working-class folk donning iPads and laptops, you can’t hook a guy up with a little internet? Maybe they don’t want people to linger. Maybe they’re saving up for shades first. Maybe we should just go for eggs at The Daily Dose.

Click above to get your education on.

Remember the last time you tried to learn something about tequila?

Exactly.

You remember nada because it usually involves, well, shots of the thing you’re trying to learn about. To solve this inherently human problem (drinking tequila if it’s in front of you) our friends at Tres Agaves Tequila created something meant to school you while entertaining you while keeping you sober enough to learn: a video series called Tequila Academy.

Parked on YouTube and the Tres website (www.tresagaves.com/tequilaacademy), Tequila Academy is an eight-part series that follows the adventures of two gringos as they go deep into the culture of Guadalajara, exploring everything from the harvest of agave plants, to distillation, to how good tequila is actually drank by the people who make it. They learn about tradition, why tequila only comes from one region in Mexico, and what differentiates the good from the bad.

We first heard about this project from Tres Agaves’ man on the ground, Chris Galante, who’s like our own personal agave whisperer, helping to build the past two years’ sponsorships with our Arizona Taco Festival. Galante called to tell us that one of Tres’ partners, Eric Rubin, was in town and wanted to lunch with us to discuss the fun goings-on over at Tres Agaves. Usually, those lunches go down with Chris Alvarez, another Tres partner that’s now deeply focused on some Jim Beam duties in Las Vegas. But Rubin, like Alvarez, is one of those guys that sees beyond his brands’ success–his focus is split between keeping his house in order while keeping the overall industry moving forward. They’re true tequila altruists.

Hence these videos.

Episode one and two launched last week and they’ve already racked up a staggering 40,000+ views collectively. Check them out here: www.youtube.com. Each video is one part funny and two parts educational with a splash of good camerawork. Sounds like a great recipe to us!

Here are three signs that cocktails are the new food:

1) Last week, Chef Jose Garces of our very own Distrito and Old Town Whiskey chose Master Mixologist Tony Abou-Ganim as a team member in a Food Network showdown. Who needs a sous chef when you’re presenting Abou-Ganim originals with your competition food? It was an industry first.

2) Inside of this whole Shit Anyone Says trend, montage videos making fun of everyone from Asian dads to chicks who yoga, bartenders recently got one and the subject is… you guessed it: mixology. Check it out here: www.youtube.com

3) Even Arizona gets a Cocktail Week. See, our Arizona Cocktail Week was announced a few months ago with the shell of a website and very little buzz. But now, in the 11th hour, the thing is picking up momentum. Hosted by the Hotel Valley Ho, Arizona Cocktail Week is aimed at both members of the beverage industry and consumers alike, and it takes place practically tomorrow, February 19th-ish.

From an overall vodka discussion for bartenders led by Dale DeGroff and Don Lee, to a discussion about gin’s resurgence with folks from Hendricks, Tanqeray, Aviation, and the Juniper Society, this thing is shaping up to be a decent inaugural effort. Although not a week (it’s more of a Monday-Tuesday type of affair), what a great way to book a couple rooms at the Ho, learn about booze, sample tons of it, and then do it all again the next day.

Seminars run about $25 each, and cover ground on everything from trends (farm-to-table drinking) to, well, more trends (whiskies of the world). There’s a Grand Tasting each day for $25 each, and all-inclusive passes that go from $200 to $600, depending on how many amenities you want to pack in. Lots of big name cocktail people are coming in for the events, so this is a great opportunity to meet the people you see on Food Network or read about in cocktail books. It’s also a great way to drink.

Take a look at the ticket levels here: http://arizonacocktailweek.com/tickets. And then, count how many phrases you actually hear from Shit Bartenders Say. We bet it will be around 6,472.